LI Love: How to build healthier relationships

Posted: Updated:

WOODBURY - It's Valentine's Day! Do you know how to build a healthier relationship that will last longer? 

News 12 Long Island's Carol Silva sat down with therapist and relationship expert Debra M. Roberts to get some tips.

Roberts says that on Valentine's Day you shouldn't be pressured into saying "I Love You."  

"Just focus on how you feel, and express it honestly and kindly," says Roberts.

WATCH: Top tips for healthy communication.

If you're disappointed on how Valentine's Day turns out, Roberts says to check your expectations, and make sure they are realistic. This advice can be used for any difficult situation.

WATCH: How to address disappointment and conflict in a constructive way.

"If you want to say something, it's really helpful to state your intentions up front," says Roberts. "So you have a better shot at the person not hearing it as an attack, or whether they're going to get defensive or be reactive, but instead want to listen to you." 

Roberts also says that in a confrontation we shouldn't focus on winning. "Important relationships are never about winning or being right. It's all about both people, and winning makes us focus on only ourselves," she says.

  • Food & Fun PhotosMore>>

  • What's Cooking Photos

    What's Cooking Photos

    Stephen Gallagher, of The Trattoria in St. James, shows News 12's Lily Stolzberg how to make corteccia pasta with roasted cauliflower and golden raisins and garlic bread crumbs.Stephen Gallagher, of The Trattoria in St. James, shows News 12's Lily Stolzberg how to make corteccia pasta with roasted cauliflower and golden raisins and garlic bread crumbs.

    Each week, News 12's Lily Stolzberg heads into the kitchen with a different chef to cook up some delicious meals.

    Each week, News 12's Lily Stolzberg heads into the kitchen with a different chef to cook up some delicious meals.

  • 2019 Jones Beach Summer Concert Lineup

    2019 Jones Beach Summer Concert Lineup

    Northwell Health at Jones Beach Theater is rolling out a new concert lineup for 2019.Northwell Health at Jones Beach Theater is rolling out a new concert lineup for 2019.

    Northwell Health at Jones Beach Theater is rolling out a new concert lineup for 2019.

    Northwell Health at Jones Beach Theater is rolling out a new concert lineup for 2019.

  • Birthday Smiles

    Birthday Smiles

    It's a celebration! Is your or a loved one's birthday coming up? Let us know! Send us your photos and you could end up on air and News12.com!

    It's a celebration! Is your or a loved one's birthday coming up? Let us know! Send us your photos and you could end up on air and News12.com!

sorry to interrupt
your first 20 are free
Access to News 12 is free for Optimum, Comcast®, Spectrum Networks® and Service ElectricSM customers.
Please enjoy 20 complimentary views of articles, photos, and videos during the next 30 days.
you have reached your 20 view limit
Access to News 12 is free for Optimum, Comcast®, Spectrum Networks® and Service ElectricSM customers.
Please login or create an account to continue enjoying News12.
Our sign-up page is undergoing maintenance and is not currently available. However, you will be given direct access to news12.com while we complete our upgrade.
When we are back up and running you will be prompted at that time to complete your sign in. Until then, enjoy the local news, weather, traffic and more that's "as local as local news gets."